A picture may speak a thousand words, but a filter is a look into a traveler’s soul. Here’s what you’re projecting with your choice of special effects.

To blazes with hard-edged modernity! You yearn for the softly faded era of steamer trunks and hot-air balloons. Jules Verne is your Virgil. Your ideal evening starts with a Delmonico steak and an oyster roast, and ends at the kinetoscope. In your luggage: a hoopskirt and a stovepipe hat.

Ahh, you swoony love child of Ansel Adams and Henri Cartier-Bresson.... Don’t we all want to live in Paris between the wars? Your photos don’t capture light—they capture truth. Color? A cloying distraction. Not only do you shoot in black and white, you only wear black and white.

You don’t go anywhere unless it’s 75 degrees, sunny, and within earshot of the Pacific. “In search of the perfect wave” isn’t just a credo, it’s your torso tattoo. Clouds don’t exist in your world. Neither does tartar. Every summer is endless; every barrel is epic; every hour is golden.

You’re drawn to the darkness at the edge of town. Bad hotel lighting never bothers you; hell, you travel with your own blackout shades. The message on your door is the message on your heart: DO NOT DISTURB. Next vacation: Nome. Or outer Minsk. In winter.

[No Filter]
Purity is your doctrine. Your body is a temple, your art needs no adornment, your eye needs no doctoring. (You probably don’t eat salt, either.) Why are you even on Instagram, anyway? #timetostartatumblr.