Couples yoga and Sunday brunch were on the agenda.

By Amanda Ogle
March 31, 2020
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Courtesy of Patrick McDonald

On March 13, Patrick McDonald of Los Angeles began his self-quarantine as the novel coronavirus ramped up across the United States. Unlike many who are enduring self-quarantine by themselves, McDonald has been making it through with the help of a friend — a mannequin friend that has earned the name Coronda. McDonald bought the female mannequin as a prop for an upcoming comedy show, and since the show was canceled due to COVID-19, the mannequin has been sitting in McDonald’s apartment. In an effort to keep boredom at bay and entertain himself and his Instagram followers, McDonald began documenting his shenanigans with Coronda, and we are all thankful.

In the beginning, before Coronda even had a name, McDonald started dressing the mannequin in different outfits from old costume pieces and some of his own closet items. He began doing fun bits with her, dressing her as a Starbucks barista, a recent college grad, and even Tom Cruise in “Risky Business,” sliding the mannequin in front of a doorway in a shirt and boxers as Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” plays in the background as the mannequin falls over and loses her head. It’s not long before McDonald cleverly names the mannequin Coronda, and the duo begin a whirlwind of hilarious bits to pass the time. Actually, it’s just McDonald doing the bits, since Coronda isn’t real, as he hilariously reminds himself and the audience throughout their adventures. Here are some of our (so far) favorite Coronda Chronicles moments.

To celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, McDonald and Coronda do an apartment pub crawl throughout various rooms in the apartment. Highlights include McDonald challenging Coronda to a chugging contest, which of course he wins, as Coronda’s milk that is taped to her hand slowly pours out onto the floor; and McDonald holding Coronda’s head over the toilet before setting her up on the couch with ginger ale, crackers, and a trash can in case, ya know, Coronda decides to yack after a long night of drinking.

On day six of self-quarantine, @oprahwinfreckle (Dahlya Glick) writes opening and closing theme songs for Coronda’s videos and they are every bit catchy, hilarious, and cute.

When the duo tackles yoga, Coronda nails some of the moves like the partner boat pose, as her legs are detached from her torso and she’s basically folded in half. But other poses are troublesome, like the double plank, where McDonald tries to plank on top of a planked Coronda, which lasts about four seconds before Coronda snaps and McDonald falls to the floor.

As cabin fever sets in, McDonald experiments on how best to get Coronda outside for a walk around the neighborhood. The solution? McDonald straps roller skates onto Coronda and guides her along the street, worried about being seen by his neighbors. On the way back, an older couple asks McDonald if Coronda is his partner and we lose our minds.

McDonald is missing being able to go out to Sunday brunch, so he decides to host one inside with Coronda, complete with from-the-fridge menu items of an old bagel, cereal, eggs with cheese, and a handful of blueberries.

On day 14, McDonald has to leave LA for a few weeks and heads to his parents’ house in Colorado. Of course, Coronda is in tow for the road trip and is dragged out of the car for Insta-worthy pics in front of state welcome signs as they cross Nevada, Arizona, Utah, and Colorado. As they go through Vegas, McDonald tells Coronda “Vegas is the least real, most fake place in the entire world. You would absolutely love it.” And upon entering Colorado, McDonald has an epiphany that results in Coronda’s new nickname: Corondarado.

After meeting Coronda, McDonald’s parents get in on the fun. McDonald’s mom dresses Coronda in endless layers for skiing and shows off what Coronda brought for ski snacks: one cookie, a can of black eyed peas for luck, and Jose Cuervo. After, it’s apres-ski time with the whole gang, where McDonald’s mom informs us that Coronda’s foot is in a medical boot after she apparently fell off the ski lift.

For your viewing pleasure, the Coronda Chronicles are saved to McDonald’s Instagram highlights and on YouTube.