If you got dairy problems, I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a brie ain’t one.

By Cailey Rizzo
March 20, 2019
This picture taken on March 14, 2019 shows a round of cheese that has been matured for 6 month with hip hop music, on the final day of an experiment conducted by the University of the Arts in Berthoud, in the Emmental region, central Switzerland.
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A study out of Switzerland has revealed that cheese tastes better after it has been exposed to hip hop music.

Nine 22-pound wheels of Emmental cheese were placed in individual wooden crates in a Swiss cheese cellar this past September. Five of the wheels were exposed to different types of music on loop for 24 hours a day for six months. Each cheese had a sound system built into their crate, with mini transmitters conducting the music’s energy into the cheese.

Three other cheeses were exposed to soundwaves at different frequencies: low, medium, and high. And one cheese stood alone in quiet.

People taste a cheese that has been matured for 6 month with techno music on the final day of an experiment conducted by the University of the Arts on March 14, 2019 in Berthoud, in the Emmental region, central Switzerland.
FABRICE COFFRINI/Getty Images

Of the five musical cheeses, one was exposed to Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven,” one heard Mozart’s “Magic Flute,” one pulsed to the techno beat of “UV” by Vril and another stood in the dark ambiance of Yello’s “Monolith.” But the cheese that fared the best was aged to “Jazz (We’ve Got)” by A Tribe Called Quest. It apparently came back “remarkably fruity, both in smell and taste, and significantly different from the other samples,” one of the researchers told Swissinfo.

Swiss cheesemaker Beat Wampfler (L) and director of the Music Department at University of the Arts in Bern, Michael Harenberg (R) pose with a vynil record and a wheel of Emmental, one of the most famous cheeses in Switzerland, that is being matured in music in a cheese cellar on October 19, 2018 in Berthoud.
FABRICE COFFRINI/Getty Images

According to the results of the study, the music apparently measurably affected the cheeses’ strength of flavor, smell and taste. The beats of A Tribe Called Quest gave the hip-hop cheese the funkiest profile of all the aged cheeses. “All the energy is directly resonating inside of the cheese,” Michael Harenberg, one of the researchers from Bern University of Arts, told Reuters.

The results were blind-tested by a culinary jury. Twice to assure accuracy.

With this new information, food scientists now hope to discover if different types of hip-hop will have different effects on the cheese. We’re imagining a cheese cellar where 2 Chainz, Lauryn Hill and Tupac engage in the ultimate rap battle to produce the most luxurious cheeses.

Perhaps we can soon expect hip-hop lines like “with my mind on my manchego and my manchego on my mind” or “I got 99 problems but a brie ain’t one” or perhaps even “All I want for my birthday is a full-bodied cheese.”

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