Drunk Birds Are Going on 'Berry Benders' in Minnesota
Somebody needs to cut off the birds of Gilbert, Minnesota, because they’re all drunk.
According to local authorities, birds in the region are getting a bit tipsy thanks to an early frost, which caused berries to ferment on the vine. When the birds consume a few too many they tend to fly into windows and act a fool. In fact, the birds are getting so out of control that the local police department had to warn citizens about their behavior.
"We've sort of nicknamed it ‘berry benders’ now that these birds are on a berry bender,” Gilbert police chief Ty Techer told Fox 9. “The young birds’ livers can't process it as well; they seem to be loopier, for lack of a better term.”
According to park ranger Sharon Stiteler, the birds are typically cedar waxwings and American robins, who like to feast on the berries. "Drunk birds are totally a thing. I've had to give sober rides to cedar waxwings from uptown,” she joked.
But, the police department also wants locals to know that they are aware of the situation, so please stop calling them about it.
“There is no need to call law enforcement about these birds as they should sober up within a short period of time,” the department posted on Facebook. “However, we would like you to call the Gilbert Police Department if you see the following: Heckle and Jeckle walking around being boisterous or playing practical jokes. Woodstock pushing Snoopy off a dog house for no apparent reason. The Roadrunner jumping in and out of traffic on Main Street. Big Bird operating a motor vehicle in an unsafe manner. Angry Birds giggling and laughing uncontrollably and appearing to be happy. Tweety acting as if he’s 10 feet tall and getting into confrontations with cats.Any other birds after midnight with Taco Bell items.”
And if you really feel compelled to help the drunk birds, Stiteler said to "try putting it in a box in a dark place where it can kind of sleep things off."