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Why Americans Love Europe

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Loads of Downtime

Europeans love whiling away the day at outdoor cafés. On the sidewalks of Athens, Marseilles, Milan, and Barcelona, you’ll see adult males—on the small side, sure, but by all other measures “grown-up”—doing nothing all afternoon but sipping espresso and reading newspapers/pornography. (The incredible thing about Europe is that, aside from soccer players and prostitutes, nobody else seems to have a job. If they do, they’re on strike.)

Then again, if you lived in Europe, you’d sit around drinking espresso all day too. The coffee is phenomenal. Even the skeeviest autostrada rest stop will serve you a perfect ristretto. Which is convenient, since coffee is about the only thing you can drink there if you don’t want to get plastered. Take it from me: There is nothing refreshing about anise-hazelnut soda.

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