/
Close
Newsletters  | Mobile

Essential Gear for the Paranoid Peripatetic

HAIL, HAIL Revolutionary new technology has allowed us to shrink an entire taxi into one handy gel cap. Insta-CabTM inflates in 6.8 seconds: Just add water (approx. 80 gallons). Available in London black, New York yellow, and tuk-tuk brown. $2,298 (Gas, driver, indecipherable radio not included)

HAVE IT YOUR WAY—EVEN AWAY As everyone knows, the exotic food at foreign restaurants is sometimes a little too exotic. After traipsing around a strange city all day, the last thing you want is a lukewarm plate of klvadjz. No worries! With just a dash of our trusty FlavaSavaTM seasoning, any meal tastes like a flame-broiled burger and fries—even paprikash. $4.49 per 10 oz. bottle

IT'S A SHOE THING You're late for the theater, there's not a taxi in sight, and running in your Manolos is putting the ÒblahÓ back in Blahnik. What's a poor, jet-setting, bright young thing to do?Switch to our amazing Hi-HealsTM—the sexy, strappy shoe with retractable four-inch heels! Miuccia Prada wishes she'd invented these! $179.99 per pair

FUMING MAD? Outside America, non-smoking sections are as rare as a decent cup of Folgers Decaf. Choke no more, fellow travelers: The Cig-NetTM, our chic custom-tailored smoke hood, lets you look good and inhale in any fume-filled venue! Anti-wicking fibers minimize claustrophobia. Choose from an assortment of styles, including English Pub (Burberry plaid), Parisian Cinéma (Hermès orange), and Tokyo Jazz Bar (Hello Kitty print). $99.99 (Factory overstock! Size XXXXS only!)

MEET THE @#$%-ULATORTM If there's one reason to learn a foreign tongue, it's knowing a great insult when some jerk cuts in line at the pâtisserie or spills ouzo in your lap. Unfortunately, mastering a language takes time. That's why we created this handheld insulting unit. The powerful 40-watt speaker hurls curse words in 300 languages, from Albanian to Zulu. No more flipping frantically through the phrase book while the culprit walks away—one click on the @#$%-ulatorTM and he's thoroughly humiliated! $79.99 (for megaphone attachment, add $17)

Advertisement

Sign Up


Connect With Travel + Leisure
  • Travel+Leisure
  • Tablet
  • Available devices

Already a subscriber?
Get FREE ACCESS to the digital edition


Advertisement

Advertisement

Advertisement

Marketplace